Breaking The Chains Of Addiction
Attitudes That Keep You Prisoner
Self-Pity
Question: "What does the Bible say about self-pity?"
Answer: Every human being is prone to self-pity. We are born self-centered, with a powerful drive to protect our egos and our “rights.†When we decide that life has not treated us as we have the right to be treated, self-pity is the result. Self-pity causes us to sulk and obsess over our hurts, real or perceived. At the heart of self-pity is a disagreement with God over how life—and He—has treated us.
The biggest clue that self-pity is not of God is the word self. Any time we are focused on ourselves, other than for self examination leading to repentance (2 Corinthians 13:5), we are in the territory of the flesh. Our sinful flesh is the enemy of the Spirit (Romans 8:7). When we surrender our lives to Christ, our old nature is crucified with Him (Galatians 2:20; Romans 6:6). The self-ish, sinful part of our lives no longer needs to dominate. When Self is dominant, God is not. We, in effect, have become our own god.
The self-sins do not die easily. They are more difficult to detect than obvious sins, such as immorality and drunkenness (Galatians 5:19–20), because we often consider them friends. Self-confidence, self-seeking, self-admiration, self-indulgence, self-absorption, and self-love are all symptoms of a fleshly nature that has not yet been fully surrendered to Jesus.
The self-sins, including self-pity, attest to the truth that, regardless of what we say with our lips, our highest worship is often reserved for ourselves (Isaiah 29:13; Matthew 15:8).
When we indulge in self-pity, we have elevated our importance in our own eyes. Romans 12:3 says, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.†We are thinking too highly of ourselves when we allow life’s hurts and injustices to dictate our emotional state. Bitterness can quickly override the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22) that should be dominating the life of every believer. First Thessalonians 5:18–19 tells us that we are not to “quench the Holy Spirit.†Instead, we are to give thanks in everything. It is impossible to give thanks while clinging to self-pity, because, by definition, a self-indulgent attitude is not focused on gratitude to others. Self-pity cannot be thankful at all for what God has allowed.
Rejecting the impulse to feel sorry for ourselves is not easy. Life provides many opportunities to experience rejection, injustice, and the cruelty of man. Our natural response is self-protection, which often results in self-pity. However, we can choose to “walk by the Spirit, and . . . not gratify the desires of the flesh†(Galatians 5:16). We can refuse to indulge our sin natures and choose instead a grateful heart, trusting that “it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose†(Philippians 2:13). We can look at every opportunity to indulge in self-pity as chance to defeat that old nature. We can choose instead to trust that God “will work everything for the good, to those who love God and are called according to His purpose†(Romans 8:28).
Answer: Every human being is prone to self-pity. We are born self-centered, with a powerful drive to protect our egos and our “rights.†When we decide that life has not treated us as we have the right to be treated, self-pity is the result. Self-pity causes us to sulk and obsess over our hurts, real or perceived. At the heart of self-pity is a disagreement with God over how life—and He—has treated us.
The biggest clue that self-pity is not of God is the word self. Any time we are focused on ourselves, other than for self examination leading to repentance (2 Corinthians 13:5), we are in the territory of the flesh. Our sinful flesh is the enemy of the Spirit (Romans 8:7). When we surrender our lives to Christ, our old nature is crucified with Him (Galatians 2:20; Romans 6:6). The self-ish, sinful part of our lives no longer needs to dominate. When Self is dominant, God is not. We, in effect, have become our own god.
The self-sins do not die easily. They are more difficult to detect than obvious sins, such as immorality and drunkenness (Galatians 5:19–20), because we often consider them friends. Self-confidence, self-seeking, self-admiration, self-indulgence, self-absorption, and self-love are all symptoms of a fleshly nature that has not yet been fully surrendered to Jesus.
The self-sins, including self-pity, attest to the truth that, regardless of what we say with our lips, our highest worship is often reserved for ourselves (Isaiah 29:13; Matthew 15:8).
When we indulge in self-pity, we have elevated our importance in our own eyes. Romans 12:3 says, “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.†We are thinking too highly of ourselves when we allow life’s hurts and injustices to dictate our emotional state. Bitterness can quickly override the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22) that should be dominating the life of every believer. First Thessalonians 5:18–19 tells us that we are not to “quench the Holy Spirit.†Instead, we are to give thanks in everything. It is impossible to give thanks while clinging to self-pity, because, by definition, a self-indulgent attitude is not focused on gratitude to others. Self-pity cannot be thankful at all for what God has allowed.
Rejecting the impulse to feel sorry for ourselves is not easy. Life provides many opportunities to experience rejection, injustice, and the cruelty of man. Our natural response is self-protection, which often results in self-pity. However, we can choose to “walk by the Spirit, and . . . not gratify the desires of the flesh†(Galatians 5:16). We can refuse to indulge our sin natures and choose instead a grateful heart, trusting that “it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose†(Philippians 2:13). We can look at every opportunity to indulge in self-pity as chance to defeat that old nature. We can choose instead to trust that God “will work everything for the good, to those who love God and are called according to His purpose†(Romans 8:28).
If you identified the negative attitude of Self Pity in your DMI today, take some time to complete this devotional. Read each passage beginning with (2 Corinthians 13:5).
Meditate on this verse (s). Continue with the next passage until all passages are completed. It is imperative that you allow the Holy Spirit to confront us with our sinful attitudes and character flaws, and that we take responsibility for our behavior without making excuses. This requires looking honestly at the intentions of our hearts if we are to allow God to work in these areas. Ask the Lord to reveal the truth behind these attitudes. Our hearts are deceitful and we will try to hide the true reasons behind these behaviors. Be sure to write down any revelations of the Holy Spirit, especially where they come from.
Meditate on this verse (s). Continue with the next passage until all passages are completed. It is imperative that you allow the Holy Spirit to confront us with our sinful attitudes and character flaws, and that we take responsibility for our behavior without making excuses. This requires looking honestly at the intentions of our hearts if we are to allow God to work in these areas. Ask the Lord to reveal the truth behind these attitudes. Our hearts are deceitful and we will try to hide the true reasons behind these behaviors. Be sure to write down any revelations of the Holy Spirit, especially where they come from.