Anger & Stress Management God’s Way
THE WAY OF ESCAPE: PART 1
Chapter 7
From all we’ve noted thus far, we can see that responding wrongly to the stressors of life is a rather serious matter. In the next two chapters, we’ll discuss what we must do to avoid reacting wrongly to the stressors of life. We will begin by laying out some key factors in developing a biblical procedure for overcoming stress before it overcomes you.
OVERCOMING FACTOR #1
To win this battle over the stressors of life, you must deliberately choose to see everything that happens to you within the framework of the sovereignty of God. Believing and applying the truth of Ephesians 1:11, that God “works all things after the counsel of His will,” will inevitably have a positive effect on the way we handle stress. The words “all things” remind us of the scope of God’s control. Perhaps we could discuss whether this statement is referring to what some people call God’s “permissive will” or to His “will of ordination”—whether God ordains, or just permits, all the events and experiences that enter our lives. Either way, the point is that God is in charge of what happens in the universe and in your life. If you take the position that God permits, but doesn’t ordain, all things that happen, you still must realize that He, being the loving, wise, gracious, all-powerful God that He is, could have prevented something if He had chosen to do so. Moreover, if He didn’t prevent it, you must realize that He has a definite purpose for allowing it to happen.
The fact is, He works all things in accordance with the counsel of His will. Therefore, if He didn’t will it to occur, it wouldn’t have occurred. Throughout the Bible, this great truth about God’s sovereignty over everything in general, as well over as the events of our lives, is clearly spelled out. I will quote a few of these many references, because this truth is the foundational truth for developing a biblical procedure for overcoming the stressors of life. One text with enormous implications for overcoming stress is Matthew 10:29. Here, our Lord Jesus Christ teaches that not even a sparrow dies apart from God’s will.
The point of this passage is not simply that God knows when a sparrow dies. Jesus is saying much more than that—He is asserting that a sparrow doesn’t die unless it’s the will of God that it should expire. By saying this, our Lord Jesus Christ wants us to know and be comforted by the fact that if God is involved with the death of something as insignificant as a sparrow, He is certainly involved in, and vitally concerned about, everything that happens to His own children. The truth of Psalm 103:19, when rightly understood and applied, will be a transforming influence in the life of a believer as he or she faces pressure. This text tells us that God’s throne has been established in the heavens and that He, in His sovereignty, rules over all. Daniel 4:34–35 says much the same thing in a more expansive way: “His dominion is an everlasting dominion, and His kingdom endures from generation to generation.
All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing [i.e., in comparison to God], but He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of earth; and no one can ward off His hand or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’” God, according to this text, is so absolutely sovereign and perfect that no one has a right, or should even think, to put Him on the witness stand to give an accounting of what He has done. Psalm 37:23 reminds us that the steps of a person who has been made righteous in God’s sight through Christ are ordered by the Lord. Note carefully what this text says. It tells us that God orders this person’s “steps,” not just the overall plan for his life. If words mean anything, this means that God is deeply involved in the details of this person’s life.
Note, still further, that the verse says that this person’s steps are “ordered.” That is, what happens in a person’s life doesn’t happen just haphazardly or by chance. It means there is some order to what happens. Who does the ordering? Being true to the text leads us to only one conclusion: the Lord does the ordering. Romans 8:28 has long been a favorite of believers as they face the stressors of life. What is the message of this text? It’s that God is deeply involved in what happens to a believer—in all and over all the events of a believer’s life, God is working for the believer’s good. It’s that nothing happens that is outside God’s control. It’s that God can and does orchestrate and order the events in a Christian’s life, so that even that which is painful and unpleasant will be used by God to produce something good.
If God weren’t sovereign over all things, including the events of our lives, this verse would be sheer gibberish and would make no sense at all. We would have no reason to believe that what it clearly says will come to pass. However, if we really believe what it says and plug its obvious meaning and implications into our thinking during a time of stress, we will find the ungodly responses discussed in chapter 5 minimized and even eliminated. The Bible has many illustrations of the practical value of believing and applying the doctrine of God’s sovereignty during a time of stress. In terms of the roster of people who experienced severe pressure, Joseph has to be near the top of the list.
He was mocked and badly mistreated by other family members. He had come to them on an errand of mercy, but they captured him and threw him into a pit. While he was in that pit, no doubt within earshot, his brothers debated what they could do to get rid of him. Some of them voted for killing him, but then another brother suggested that they should sell him into slavery and even make some money in the deal. That’s precisely what they did. As a result, Joseph became the indentured slave of a man named Potiphar, whose wife wanted to seduce Joseph into an immoral relationship. When Joseph refused her advances, Mrs. Potiphar became so angry that she went to her husband and accused Joseph of being a rapist.
As a result of her lies, Joseph was thrown in prison. How long he was there we don’t know—though it seems to have been well over two years! We do know, however, that while he was in prison he helped a man who had been in the service of Pharaoh to understand the meaning of a dream he had. In his interpretation, Joseph indicated that the man would be released from prison and returned to his responsible position with Pharaoh. In the process of assisting this man, Joseph asked him to intercede with Pharaoh on his behalf after he was released and restored. The man agreed, and not long after that, the predictions of Joseph were fulfilled. When that took place, Joseph had every reason to believe that this servant of the Pharaoh would fulfill his promise and intercede on his behalf.
Unfortunately, for what would appear to be a considerable period of time, the man forgot about the arrangement he had made with Joseph (see Gen. 40:23). Finally, God brought about a certain circumstance in the life of the Pharaoh so that he needed the very kind of help that Joseph had given to the man who had been in prison with him. This jogged the man’s memory, and he informed Pharaoh that he knew a man who could provide the very help that he wanted and needed. Hence, after many years of horrendous misrepresentation, mistreatment, and abuse, Joseph was brought to Pharaoh and was able to provide the assistance he wanted. Pharaoh was so pleased that he gave the order to release Joseph from prison and exalt him to the position of prime minister of Egypt.
I mention this story because there is no indication that Joseph ever descended into utter despair, no evidence that he became bitter and angry, no evidence that he sought to get even or that he returned evil for evil to his brothers, to Potiphar or Potiphar’s wife, or even to the official of Pharaoh who for a period of time forgot about him. During this rather lengthy period of time when he experienced a variety of stressors, Joseph must have been tempted to respond in many of the ungodly ways described in chapter 5, but he didn’t. To the contrary, when Joseph had the opportunity to get even with his brothers, he blessed them instead of cursing them and comforted them rather than condemning them. As prime minister, he could have made it tough on Potiphar and his wife, but there is no evidence that he did any such thing. What kept Joseph from responding in ungodly ways to the stressors he experienced?
To answer this question, we don’t have to speculate or make guesses; Scripture tells us why. When he could have had his brothers executed, Joseph instead said, Do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. . . . God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt. (Gen. 45:5, 7–8) Later, in another attempt to comfort his brothers who had previously mistreated him, he said, “Do not be afraid. . . . You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good. . . . So therefore, do not be afraid” (Gen. 50:19–21). Joseph knew that God was sovereign and in charge, of all things in general and of his life in particular.
He knew, long before Paul ever penned the words, that “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). He saw everything within the framework of God’s sovereignty, and that conviction was a key factor in his overcoming stress rather than being overcome by it. It was this same perspective that helped Paul to respond in a godly manner to the various and continuous stressors he faced. Some of the stress that Paul faced came from enemies who frequently imprisoned and beat him for no valid reason at all.
They whipped and scourged Paul so many times that he couldn’t remember how many times he had been beaten. He was in constant danger of being killed. Frequently he had little or no food to eat or safe water to drink. His enemies were so many, and so determined to destroy him, that on an almost daily basis Paul didn’t know if he was going to live or die (see 2 Cor. 11:23–27). In addition to the stress that came from his enemies, he also faced pressures that came upon him from Christians. Often those who should have comforted and supported him, while he was suffering at the hands of the enemies of Christ, abandoned him, ignored him, and were even ashamed to be identified with him.
Some even tried to intensify his suffering and abuse with unjust criticism, by maligning his reputation, by misrepresenting his words, as well as by masking his actions and his motives (see Phil. 1:12–18; 2 Tim. 4:10, 16). Perhaps no one except our Lord Jesus Christ ever experienced the intense and unrelenting pressure that Paul did. Yet Paul didn’t lose heart; he was not overcome by the stressors he faced (see 2 Cor. 4:8–16). Why? Was it because he was some kind of superhuman being who had no feelings and didn’t care what people thought of him? No, he responded as he did because he chose to see everything that happened to him within the framework of the sovereignty of a wise, loving, gracious, all-powerful God.
He knew and really believed that God was working all things according to the counsel of His own will and that God’s will was ultimately good, perfect, and acceptable (see Rom. 12:2). No matter what happened, Paul was convinced that God is good and that His God never makes a mistake. In 2 Corinthians 4:8, Paul acknowledged that there were times when he didn’t fully understand what God was up to, but nonetheless he was certain that whatever God was up to would ultimately work out for his good and God’s glory.
That knowledge helped him to overcome stress rather than being overcome by it. What was it that sustained and supported William Carey during the many pressures and trials he experienced before he went to India and while he was there as a missionary? What was it that empowered John Bunyan to respond in a godly manner to being placed in prison for twelve and a half years for no other reason than that he wanted to preach the gospel? What was it that enabled Jonathan Edwards to be kind and loving and compassionate toward the people of Northampton, Massachusetts, when they maligned him and finally rejected him as their pastor? What is it that has helped Joni Eareckson Tada to consistently over the years bear a sweet and radiant testimony for Christ while being paralyzed and restricted in her movements? What is it that has helped and is helping thousands of others to overcome the stressors that are part of the warp and woof of daily living in this present evil world?
The answer: they choose to see everything within the framework of God’s sovereignty. Again and again, in the years I have lived since I became a Christian in 1957, I have observed the practical value of this doctrine played out in the lives of people encountering various kinds of stress. For example, I think of how it helped a friend of mine as he went through a very trying time in his life. This man and his wife had gone into business with a brother who soon made some very unwise decisions. Because of his poor judgment, these people, through no fault of their own, ended up owing over $40,000 that was due to be paid immediately. To top it off, the brother who was responsible for the mess decided to pull out of the business.
So this friend and his wife were left with the responsibility to pay the debt. One problem: they had to have money to pay the debt. Their creditors, of course, found out that they had just bought a house and threatened them with foreclosure if they didn’t pay up immediately. As you can imagine, it was an extremely stressful situation. Well, how did this couple handle the stress that this situation provided? That’s the question I asked my friend, and he told me that while all this was happening, he and his wife experienced a number of temptations. They were tempted to worry and be depressed. They were tempted to become fearful. They were also tempted to become bitter and resentful at the brother who had gotten them into this mess, and even at God, who had not prevented it from happening.
But they were able to overcome the temptation and respond instead in faith. I asked him, “What was of most help in keeping you from the unbiblical responses you just mentioned?” His answer was, “The main factor that preserved us from any of these responses was the confidence that God was in control and that He would fulfill the promise of Romans 8:28.” He then went on to say that it took almost a year and a half before they began to actually understand anything about what God was up to in these circumstances. Now they see at least in part; but then they didn’t have a clue about God’s specific purposes. What they had was the truth of God’s sovereignty, and that was enough.
This biblical perspective on God’s sovereignty over the whole of life has been a key factor in helping the people I’ve mentioned to respond to the stressors of life in a godly way, and what it did for them it can and will do for you and me also. To overcome stress before it overcomes us, we must choose to see everything within the framework of God’s sovereignty. We must train ourselves to think this way until that way of thinking becomes a habit pattern for us.
OVERCOMING FACTOR #2
To win this battle over the stressors of life, we must also deliberately choose to give God thanks in the midst of everything and for everything. First Thessalonians 5:18 says, “In everything give thanks.” Ephesians 5:20 teaches us to give thanks always for all things, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to God, even the Father. Philippians 4:6 joins with these verses in stating that in everything we are to give thanks. Following the counsel of these verses is the right thing to do for a number of reasons. For one thing, it’s the right thing to do because God says we should do it, and as His creatures and His children we should do what He commands.
Then, too, it’s the right thing to do because God is worthy of continuous thanksgiving. The fact that giving thanks is the right thing to do ought to be enough motivation for us to get busy doing it. But beyond the fact that it’s the right thing to do, we ought to be constantly giving thanks because it’s beneficial to us in several ways—one of them being helping us to overcome the destructive consequences of stress. The psalmist in a number of places beautifully illustrates this practice of constantly giving thanks, and the benefits thereof. One of these places is Psalm 34. He begins this psalm by saying, “I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth” (v. 1). In vernacular terms, this means, “I’m going to bless the Lord when the sun is shining, when it’s raining, when I’m feeling good and when I’m feeling badly, when I’m being complimented and when I’m being criticized, when things are going well and when things are going poorly.”
In the context of the psalm, “all times” included times when the psalmist was experiencing fear and trouble, times when his enemies were out to get him. “All times” meant just that: all times. In particular, David wrote the psalm when King Saul was pursuing him. In the midst of all that, David says, “I have made a commitment, and I will keep that commitment whether I feel like it or not.” At this point, David may not have known why God was allowing Saul to pursue him. Perhaps he didn’t understand how this could be for his good. But the context of the psalm indicates that even though there were some things he didn’t fully understand, there were other things that he did know.
And for these, he always had reason to bless the Lord. What did the psalmist know that would give him plenty of reason for praising God even in the midst of many stressors? He knew that, in spite of his circumstances, God was worthy of praise. He knew that even though he couldn’t see Him, God had sent His angel to encircle, protect, and rescue him. He knew that God was good and that God would be a refuge for him. He knew that God would sustain and strengthen him. He knew that the eyes of the Lord were always upon him and that God’s ears were always open to his cry. He knew that ultimately God would deal with his enemies. He knew that the Lord would ultimately deliver him out of his troubles. He knew that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and that He saves those who are crushed in spirit. He knew that God would eventually deliver him from his afflictions.
He knew that God would take care of his soul, and he knew that God would never condemn him (see Ps. 34:4–22). In the midst of his stressors, the psalmist reflected on all the things he had to be thankful for, and he blessed, praised, magnified, and exalted the Lord (see vv. 1–3). For him, giving thanks was the right thing to do. As evidenced in this psalm, though he was experiencing many difficulties, he had many things for which he could and should be thankful. But, beyond the fact that giving thanks was the right thing for him to do, can you imagine the numerous personal benefits that this activity must have brought to him?
What do you think happened in him as he reflected on the many reasons he had for giving thanks, or as he wrote down the things he had to be thankful for and used his voice to audibly praise God in his private times and in the presence of others? Without a doubt, the practice of continually thinking about the reasons he had for giving thanks and then actually doing it helped him to avoid the common ungodly responses to stress and the consequences thereof. One of my favorite Old Testament passages is found in 2 Chronicles 20. In this passage, Jehoshaphat, king of Judah, and the citizens of Judah are facing a very stressful situation. Great coalitions of powerful neighboring nations have joined together to destroy Judah. As the chapter begins, they’ve prepared their armies and have arrived at the border of Judah. Israel, the northern and larger kingdom, has already fallen. In comparison to them, Judah is a small and insignificant nation.
From a human point of view, they have little chance of resisting this coalition of nations. Verse 3 describes Jehoshaphat’s initial response. He was afraid—his initial reaction was terror, but that was not his continuing response. He took himself by the scruff of the neck, as it were, and said to himself, “Jehoshaphat, you can’t continue to react in this way. You’re reacting like a person who doesn’t have Jehovah as his God.” The text implies this idea when it says that he “turned his attention to seek the Lord.” His change in attitude didn’t happen automatically. He had to make himself turn away from an exclusive focus on the problem, away from a preoccupation with the stressful situation, to a focus on his God.
Verse 4 tells us that he gathered a group of praying people together to join with him in seeking the Lord in prayer. In the prayer, Jehoshaphat reflected on who God is, what He has (power, sovereignty, faithfulness, etc.), and what He has done for His people. Then, in verse 18, we’re told that after this prayer he came together with an assembly of godly people and fell down and worshipped the Lord. Once they spent some time in worship (reflecting on the worthiness of God), verse 19 says that they “stood up to praise the Lord . . . with a very loud voice.” Verse 20 continues with a description of what Jehoshaphat did next. It tells us that he (and others) arose early the next day and gathered together for a message delivered by none other than Jehoshaphat himself. In the message, he exhorted his brethren to put their trust in the Lord and in His Word that was brought to them through God’s prophets.
In other words, he was exhorting them and himself to not just think about their danger but, even more importantly, to reflect on the trustworthiness of God and His Word. The message that he delivered indicates that Jehoshaphat was seeking personally to see everything within the framework of God’s sovereignty and was encouraging others to do the same. Verses 21 and 22 add another significant detail about what Jehoshaphat did and encouraged others to do as they faced this very stressful situation. What did he do? He encouraged the people to sing, praise, and give thanks to the Lord. He encouraged them to think about the loving-kindness and everlasting nature of God and His attributes. How did Jehoshaphat respond to the stressful situation he faced? He put into practice the first two “overcoming stress factors,” which I’m explaining in this chapter.
First, he chose to see everything within the framework of the sovereignty of God. Second, he chose to reflect on what he had to be thankful for and then, in a verbal and even public way, to actually give thanks to God. Romans 15:4 and 1 Corinthians 10:11 inform us that what was written in an earlier time was written for our instruction. This account about Jehoshaphat is part of the earlier writings that Paul is referring to in these passages. In keeping with Paul’s divinely inspired statements, we can conclude that we should react to stress the way that Jehoshaphat did. His example can reprove us for the wrong ways that we respond to stress.
It can also teach us how to correct our wrong responses; and, by reflecting on his example, we can train ourselves so that responding rightly becomes a pattern for us (see 2 Tim. 3:16). Giving thanks always and in everything is a matter of obedience, in that God commands us to do this very thing. Failing to do so is therefore an act of disobedience to the one called Lord (see Eph. 5:20; Phil. 4:6; Col. 4:2; 1 Thess. 5:18). Scripture, however, not only makes it clear that giving thanks is the right thing to do, it also gives us many good and valid reasons for doing it. Psalm 147 tells us that we should give thanks because it’s becoming.
This means, of course, that praise is attractive, fitting, and appropriate for believers (see v. 1). Revelation 4:11 and Psalm 145:3 teach us that we should give thanks always because God is worthy and that He should be praised at all times and in every situation (see also Ps. 136; Rev. 5:9–13). Psalm 147:1 contains an additional, brief, yet very interesting and significant reason for giving thanks always. This verse instructs us to praise the Lord because it’s good and because it’s pleasant, or gracious. Certainly it’s morally good to praise the Lord in that He has commanded us to do it. But could the psalmist be encouraging us to praise the Lord because it’s good in another sense? Could he be encouraging us to praise the Lord because it’s good and pleasant, or beneficial, for us?
Throughout Scripture, God often motivates us to obedience by telling us that obedience is good for us (see Ps. 112:1; 128:1; Luke 11:28; Eph. 6:1–3; James 1:22–25). Applying this fact to the matter of giving thanks, we can be sure that doing so is not only the right thing to do but also the good and pleasant thing to do. Without a doubt, people who make it a practice to do what the psalmist did in Psalm 34, and what Jehoshaphat did in 2 Chronicles 20, will reap the benefit of overcoming the destructive consequences of stress. In closing this chapter, I ask you—do you want to be a person who is an overcomer rather than a person who is overcome by stress? Mark it down: there’s a way of escape from stress and from the wrong responses and destructive consequences that follow it. The psalmist found that way of escape, and so did Jehoshaphat. You can and will find it also, if you will actually put the biblical procedure described in this book into practice in your life.
— APPLICATION QUESTIONS —
In this chapter, important biblical factors for overcoming stress before it overcomes you were laid out. What were the two factors discussed in this chapter?
Explain the meaning of these factors. Explain why practicing these two factors would help you or anyone else to overcome wrong responses to stress. When you are tempted to be stressed out, identify which of these factors you regularly practice. Give examples of times and situations when you have practiced these two factors. Explain the practical effect that practicing these two factors has had on your life in those times. Identify which of these factors you are most prone to neglect when tempted to be stressed out.
What will you do to make the biblical truths found in this chapter—for overcoming stress before it overcomes you—more of a reality in your life? Identify someone you know who is experiencing a lot of stress and is succumbing to the temptation to respond in unbiblical ways. Identify the ungodly ways this person is responding and the destructive consequences he or she is experiencing. Identify the factors for overcoming stress, presented in this chapter, that this person is not practicing. Plan how you could use this material to help this person, or anyone else, to change their way of responding.
OVERCOMING FACTOR #1
To win this battle over the stressors of life, you must deliberately choose to see everything that happens to you within the framework of the sovereignty of God. Believing and applying the truth of Ephesians 1:11, that God “works all things after the counsel of His will,” will inevitably have a positive effect on the way we handle stress. The words “all things” remind us of the scope of God’s control. Perhaps we could discuss whether this statement is referring to what some people call God’s “permissive will” or to His “will of ordination”—whether God ordains, or just permits, all the events and experiences that enter our lives. Either way, the point is that God is in charge of what happens in the universe and in your life. If you take the position that God permits, but doesn’t ordain, all things that happen, you still must realize that He, being the loving, wise, gracious, all-powerful God that He is, could have prevented something if He had chosen to do so. Moreover, if He didn’t prevent it, you must realize that He has a definite purpose for allowing it to happen.
The fact is, He works all things in accordance with the counsel of His will. Therefore, if He didn’t will it to occur, it wouldn’t have occurred. Throughout the Bible, this great truth about God’s sovereignty over everything in general, as well over as the events of our lives, is clearly spelled out. I will quote a few of these many references, because this truth is the foundational truth for developing a biblical procedure for overcoming the stressors of life. One text with enormous implications for overcoming stress is Matthew 10:29. Here, our Lord Jesus Christ teaches that not even a sparrow dies apart from God’s will.
The point of this passage is not simply that God knows when a sparrow dies. Jesus is saying much more than that—He is asserting that a sparrow doesn’t die unless it’s the will of God that it should expire. By saying this, our Lord Jesus Christ wants us to know and be comforted by the fact that if God is involved with the death of something as insignificant as a sparrow, He is certainly involved in, and vitally concerned about, everything that happens to His own children. The truth of Psalm 103:19, when rightly understood and applied, will be a transforming influence in the life of a believer as he or she faces pressure. This text tells us that God’s throne has been established in the heavens and that He, in His sovereignty, rules over all. Daniel 4:34–35 says much the same thing in a more expansive way: “His dominion is an everlasting dominion, and His kingdom endures from generation to generation.
All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing [i.e., in comparison to God], but He does according to His will in the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of earth; and no one can ward off His hand or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’” God, according to this text, is so absolutely sovereign and perfect that no one has a right, or should even think, to put Him on the witness stand to give an accounting of what He has done. Psalm 37:23 reminds us that the steps of a person who has been made righteous in God’s sight through Christ are ordered by the Lord. Note carefully what this text says. It tells us that God orders this person’s “steps,” not just the overall plan for his life. If words mean anything, this means that God is deeply involved in the details of this person’s life.
Note, still further, that the verse says that this person’s steps are “ordered.” That is, what happens in a person’s life doesn’t happen just haphazardly or by chance. It means there is some order to what happens. Who does the ordering? Being true to the text leads us to only one conclusion: the Lord does the ordering. Romans 8:28 has long been a favorite of believers as they face the stressors of life. What is the message of this text? It’s that God is deeply involved in what happens to a believer—in all and over all the events of a believer’s life, God is working for the believer’s good. It’s that nothing happens that is outside God’s control. It’s that God can and does orchestrate and order the events in a Christian’s life, so that even that which is painful and unpleasant will be used by God to produce something good.
If God weren’t sovereign over all things, including the events of our lives, this verse would be sheer gibberish and would make no sense at all. We would have no reason to believe that what it clearly says will come to pass. However, if we really believe what it says and plug its obvious meaning and implications into our thinking during a time of stress, we will find the ungodly responses discussed in chapter 5 minimized and even eliminated. The Bible has many illustrations of the practical value of believing and applying the doctrine of God’s sovereignty during a time of stress. In terms of the roster of people who experienced severe pressure, Joseph has to be near the top of the list.
He was mocked and badly mistreated by other family members. He had come to them on an errand of mercy, but they captured him and threw him into a pit. While he was in that pit, no doubt within earshot, his brothers debated what they could do to get rid of him. Some of them voted for killing him, but then another brother suggested that they should sell him into slavery and even make some money in the deal. That’s precisely what they did. As a result, Joseph became the indentured slave of a man named Potiphar, whose wife wanted to seduce Joseph into an immoral relationship. When Joseph refused her advances, Mrs. Potiphar became so angry that she went to her husband and accused Joseph of being a rapist.
As a result of her lies, Joseph was thrown in prison. How long he was there we don’t know—though it seems to have been well over two years! We do know, however, that while he was in prison he helped a man who had been in the service of Pharaoh to understand the meaning of a dream he had. In his interpretation, Joseph indicated that the man would be released from prison and returned to his responsible position with Pharaoh. In the process of assisting this man, Joseph asked him to intercede with Pharaoh on his behalf after he was released and restored. The man agreed, and not long after that, the predictions of Joseph were fulfilled. When that took place, Joseph had every reason to believe that this servant of the Pharaoh would fulfill his promise and intercede on his behalf.
Unfortunately, for what would appear to be a considerable period of time, the man forgot about the arrangement he had made with Joseph (see Gen. 40:23). Finally, God brought about a certain circumstance in the life of the Pharaoh so that he needed the very kind of help that Joseph had given to the man who had been in prison with him. This jogged the man’s memory, and he informed Pharaoh that he knew a man who could provide the very help that he wanted and needed. Hence, after many years of horrendous misrepresentation, mistreatment, and abuse, Joseph was brought to Pharaoh and was able to provide the assistance he wanted. Pharaoh was so pleased that he gave the order to release Joseph from prison and exalt him to the position of prime minister of Egypt.
I mention this story because there is no indication that Joseph ever descended into utter despair, no evidence that he became bitter and angry, no evidence that he sought to get even or that he returned evil for evil to his brothers, to Potiphar or Potiphar’s wife, or even to the official of Pharaoh who for a period of time forgot about him. During this rather lengthy period of time when he experienced a variety of stressors, Joseph must have been tempted to respond in many of the ungodly ways described in chapter 5, but he didn’t. To the contrary, when Joseph had the opportunity to get even with his brothers, he blessed them instead of cursing them and comforted them rather than condemning them. As prime minister, he could have made it tough on Potiphar and his wife, but there is no evidence that he did any such thing. What kept Joseph from responding in ungodly ways to the stressors he experienced?
To answer this question, we don’t have to speculate or make guesses; Scripture tells us why. When he could have had his brothers executed, Joseph instead said, Do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. . . . God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt. (Gen. 45:5, 7–8) Later, in another attempt to comfort his brothers who had previously mistreated him, he said, “Do not be afraid. . . . You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good. . . . So therefore, do not be afraid” (Gen. 50:19–21). Joseph knew that God was sovereign and in charge, of all things in general and of his life in particular.
He knew, long before Paul ever penned the words, that “God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). He saw everything within the framework of God’s sovereignty, and that conviction was a key factor in his overcoming stress rather than being overcome by it. It was this same perspective that helped Paul to respond in a godly manner to the various and continuous stressors he faced. Some of the stress that Paul faced came from enemies who frequently imprisoned and beat him for no valid reason at all.
They whipped and scourged Paul so many times that he couldn’t remember how many times he had been beaten. He was in constant danger of being killed. Frequently he had little or no food to eat or safe water to drink. His enemies were so many, and so determined to destroy him, that on an almost daily basis Paul didn’t know if he was going to live or die (see 2 Cor. 11:23–27). In addition to the stress that came from his enemies, he also faced pressures that came upon him from Christians. Often those who should have comforted and supported him, while he was suffering at the hands of the enemies of Christ, abandoned him, ignored him, and were even ashamed to be identified with him.
Some even tried to intensify his suffering and abuse with unjust criticism, by maligning his reputation, by misrepresenting his words, as well as by masking his actions and his motives (see Phil. 1:12–18; 2 Tim. 4:10, 16). Perhaps no one except our Lord Jesus Christ ever experienced the intense and unrelenting pressure that Paul did. Yet Paul didn’t lose heart; he was not overcome by the stressors he faced (see 2 Cor. 4:8–16). Why? Was it because he was some kind of superhuman being who had no feelings and didn’t care what people thought of him? No, he responded as he did because he chose to see everything that happened to him within the framework of the sovereignty of a wise, loving, gracious, all-powerful God.
He knew and really believed that God was working all things according to the counsel of His own will and that God’s will was ultimately good, perfect, and acceptable (see Rom. 12:2). No matter what happened, Paul was convinced that God is good and that His God never makes a mistake. In 2 Corinthians 4:8, Paul acknowledged that there were times when he didn’t fully understand what God was up to, but nonetheless he was certain that whatever God was up to would ultimately work out for his good and God’s glory.
That knowledge helped him to overcome stress rather than being overcome by it. What was it that sustained and supported William Carey during the many pressures and trials he experienced before he went to India and while he was there as a missionary? What was it that empowered John Bunyan to respond in a godly manner to being placed in prison for twelve and a half years for no other reason than that he wanted to preach the gospel? What was it that enabled Jonathan Edwards to be kind and loving and compassionate toward the people of Northampton, Massachusetts, when they maligned him and finally rejected him as their pastor? What is it that has helped Joni Eareckson Tada to consistently over the years bear a sweet and radiant testimony for Christ while being paralyzed and restricted in her movements? What is it that has helped and is helping thousands of others to overcome the stressors that are part of the warp and woof of daily living in this present evil world?
The answer: they choose to see everything within the framework of God’s sovereignty. Again and again, in the years I have lived since I became a Christian in 1957, I have observed the practical value of this doctrine played out in the lives of people encountering various kinds of stress. For example, I think of how it helped a friend of mine as he went through a very trying time in his life. This man and his wife had gone into business with a brother who soon made some very unwise decisions. Because of his poor judgment, these people, through no fault of their own, ended up owing over $40,000 that was due to be paid immediately. To top it off, the brother who was responsible for the mess decided to pull out of the business.
So this friend and his wife were left with the responsibility to pay the debt. One problem: they had to have money to pay the debt. Their creditors, of course, found out that they had just bought a house and threatened them with foreclosure if they didn’t pay up immediately. As you can imagine, it was an extremely stressful situation. Well, how did this couple handle the stress that this situation provided? That’s the question I asked my friend, and he told me that while all this was happening, he and his wife experienced a number of temptations. They were tempted to worry and be depressed. They were tempted to become fearful. They were also tempted to become bitter and resentful at the brother who had gotten them into this mess, and even at God, who had not prevented it from happening.
But they were able to overcome the temptation and respond instead in faith. I asked him, “What was of most help in keeping you from the unbiblical responses you just mentioned?” His answer was, “The main factor that preserved us from any of these responses was the confidence that God was in control and that He would fulfill the promise of Romans 8:28.” He then went on to say that it took almost a year and a half before they began to actually understand anything about what God was up to in these circumstances. Now they see at least in part; but then they didn’t have a clue about God’s specific purposes. What they had was the truth of God’s sovereignty, and that was enough.
This biblical perspective on God’s sovereignty over the whole of life has been a key factor in helping the people I’ve mentioned to respond to the stressors of life in a godly way, and what it did for them it can and will do for you and me also. To overcome stress before it overcomes us, we must choose to see everything within the framework of God’s sovereignty. We must train ourselves to think this way until that way of thinking becomes a habit pattern for us.
OVERCOMING FACTOR #2
To win this battle over the stressors of life, we must also deliberately choose to give God thanks in the midst of everything and for everything. First Thessalonians 5:18 says, “In everything give thanks.” Ephesians 5:20 teaches us to give thanks always for all things, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to God, even the Father. Philippians 4:6 joins with these verses in stating that in everything we are to give thanks. Following the counsel of these verses is the right thing to do for a number of reasons. For one thing, it’s the right thing to do because God says we should do it, and as His creatures and His children we should do what He commands.
Then, too, it’s the right thing to do because God is worthy of continuous thanksgiving. The fact that giving thanks is the right thing to do ought to be enough motivation for us to get busy doing it. But beyond the fact that it’s the right thing to do, we ought to be constantly giving thanks because it’s beneficial to us in several ways—one of them being helping us to overcome the destructive consequences of stress. The psalmist in a number of places beautifully illustrates this practice of constantly giving thanks, and the benefits thereof. One of these places is Psalm 34. He begins this psalm by saying, “I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth” (v. 1). In vernacular terms, this means, “I’m going to bless the Lord when the sun is shining, when it’s raining, when I’m feeling good and when I’m feeling badly, when I’m being complimented and when I’m being criticized, when things are going well and when things are going poorly.”
In the context of the psalm, “all times” included times when the psalmist was experiencing fear and trouble, times when his enemies were out to get him. “All times” meant just that: all times. In particular, David wrote the psalm when King Saul was pursuing him. In the midst of all that, David says, “I have made a commitment, and I will keep that commitment whether I feel like it or not.” At this point, David may not have known why God was allowing Saul to pursue him. Perhaps he didn’t understand how this could be for his good. But the context of the psalm indicates that even though there were some things he didn’t fully understand, there were other things that he did know.
And for these, he always had reason to bless the Lord. What did the psalmist know that would give him plenty of reason for praising God even in the midst of many stressors? He knew that, in spite of his circumstances, God was worthy of praise. He knew that even though he couldn’t see Him, God had sent His angel to encircle, protect, and rescue him. He knew that God was good and that God would be a refuge for him. He knew that God would sustain and strengthen him. He knew that the eyes of the Lord were always upon him and that God’s ears were always open to his cry. He knew that ultimately God would deal with his enemies. He knew that the Lord would ultimately deliver him out of his troubles. He knew that the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and that He saves those who are crushed in spirit. He knew that God would eventually deliver him from his afflictions.
He knew that God would take care of his soul, and he knew that God would never condemn him (see Ps. 34:4–22). In the midst of his stressors, the psalmist reflected on all the things he had to be thankful for, and he blessed, praised, magnified, and exalted the Lord (see vv. 1–3). For him, giving thanks was the right thing to do. As evidenced in this psalm, though he was experiencing many difficulties, he had many things for which he could and should be thankful. But, beyond the fact that giving thanks was the right thing for him to do, can you imagine the numerous personal benefits that this activity must have brought to him?
What do you think happened in him as he reflected on the many reasons he had for giving thanks, or as he wrote down the things he had to be thankful for and used his voice to audibly praise God in his private times and in the presence of others? Without a doubt, the practice of continually thinking about the reasons he had for giving thanks and then actually doing it helped him to avoid the common ungodly responses to stress and the consequences thereof. One of my favorite Old Testament passages is found in 2 Chronicles 20. In this passage, Jehoshaphat, king of Judah, and the citizens of Judah are facing a very stressful situation. Great coalitions of powerful neighboring nations have joined together to destroy Judah. As the chapter begins, they’ve prepared their armies and have arrived at the border of Judah. Israel, the northern and larger kingdom, has already fallen. In comparison to them, Judah is a small and insignificant nation.
From a human point of view, they have little chance of resisting this coalition of nations. Verse 3 describes Jehoshaphat’s initial response. He was afraid—his initial reaction was terror, but that was not his continuing response. He took himself by the scruff of the neck, as it were, and said to himself, “Jehoshaphat, you can’t continue to react in this way. You’re reacting like a person who doesn’t have Jehovah as his God.” The text implies this idea when it says that he “turned his attention to seek the Lord.” His change in attitude didn’t happen automatically. He had to make himself turn away from an exclusive focus on the problem, away from a preoccupation with the stressful situation, to a focus on his God.
Verse 4 tells us that he gathered a group of praying people together to join with him in seeking the Lord in prayer. In the prayer, Jehoshaphat reflected on who God is, what He has (power, sovereignty, faithfulness, etc.), and what He has done for His people. Then, in verse 18, we’re told that after this prayer he came together with an assembly of godly people and fell down and worshipped the Lord. Once they spent some time in worship (reflecting on the worthiness of God), verse 19 says that they “stood up to praise the Lord . . . with a very loud voice.” Verse 20 continues with a description of what Jehoshaphat did next. It tells us that he (and others) arose early the next day and gathered together for a message delivered by none other than Jehoshaphat himself. In the message, he exhorted his brethren to put their trust in the Lord and in His Word that was brought to them through God’s prophets.
In other words, he was exhorting them and himself to not just think about their danger but, even more importantly, to reflect on the trustworthiness of God and His Word. The message that he delivered indicates that Jehoshaphat was seeking personally to see everything within the framework of God’s sovereignty and was encouraging others to do the same. Verses 21 and 22 add another significant detail about what Jehoshaphat did and encouraged others to do as they faced this very stressful situation. What did he do? He encouraged the people to sing, praise, and give thanks to the Lord. He encouraged them to think about the loving-kindness and everlasting nature of God and His attributes. How did Jehoshaphat respond to the stressful situation he faced? He put into practice the first two “overcoming stress factors,” which I’m explaining in this chapter.
First, he chose to see everything within the framework of the sovereignty of God. Second, he chose to reflect on what he had to be thankful for and then, in a verbal and even public way, to actually give thanks to God. Romans 15:4 and 1 Corinthians 10:11 inform us that what was written in an earlier time was written for our instruction. This account about Jehoshaphat is part of the earlier writings that Paul is referring to in these passages. In keeping with Paul’s divinely inspired statements, we can conclude that we should react to stress the way that Jehoshaphat did. His example can reprove us for the wrong ways that we respond to stress.
It can also teach us how to correct our wrong responses; and, by reflecting on his example, we can train ourselves so that responding rightly becomes a pattern for us (see 2 Tim. 3:16). Giving thanks always and in everything is a matter of obedience, in that God commands us to do this very thing. Failing to do so is therefore an act of disobedience to the one called Lord (see Eph. 5:20; Phil. 4:6; Col. 4:2; 1 Thess. 5:18). Scripture, however, not only makes it clear that giving thanks is the right thing to do, it also gives us many good and valid reasons for doing it. Psalm 147 tells us that we should give thanks because it’s becoming.
This means, of course, that praise is attractive, fitting, and appropriate for believers (see v. 1). Revelation 4:11 and Psalm 145:3 teach us that we should give thanks always because God is worthy and that He should be praised at all times and in every situation (see also Ps. 136; Rev. 5:9–13). Psalm 147:1 contains an additional, brief, yet very interesting and significant reason for giving thanks always. This verse instructs us to praise the Lord because it’s good and because it’s pleasant, or gracious. Certainly it’s morally good to praise the Lord in that He has commanded us to do it. But could the psalmist be encouraging us to praise the Lord because it’s good in another sense? Could he be encouraging us to praise the Lord because it’s good and pleasant, or beneficial, for us?
Throughout Scripture, God often motivates us to obedience by telling us that obedience is good for us (see Ps. 112:1; 128:1; Luke 11:28; Eph. 6:1–3; James 1:22–25). Applying this fact to the matter of giving thanks, we can be sure that doing so is not only the right thing to do but also the good and pleasant thing to do. Without a doubt, people who make it a practice to do what the psalmist did in Psalm 34, and what Jehoshaphat did in 2 Chronicles 20, will reap the benefit of overcoming the destructive consequences of stress. In closing this chapter, I ask you—do you want to be a person who is an overcomer rather than a person who is overcome by stress? Mark it down: there’s a way of escape from stress and from the wrong responses and destructive consequences that follow it. The psalmist found that way of escape, and so did Jehoshaphat. You can and will find it also, if you will actually put the biblical procedure described in this book into practice in your life.
— APPLICATION QUESTIONS —
In this chapter, important biblical factors for overcoming stress before it overcomes you were laid out. What were the two factors discussed in this chapter?
Explain the meaning of these factors. Explain why practicing these two factors would help you or anyone else to overcome wrong responses to stress. When you are tempted to be stressed out, identify which of these factors you regularly practice. Give examples of times and situations when you have practiced these two factors. Explain the practical effect that practicing these two factors has had on your life in those times. Identify which of these factors you are most prone to neglect when tempted to be stressed out.
What will you do to make the biblical truths found in this chapter—for overcoming stress before it overcomes you—more of a reality in your life? Identify someone you know who is experiencing a lot of stress and is succumbing to the temptation to respond in unbiblical ways. Identify the ungodly ways this person is responding and the destructive consequences he or she is experiencing. Identify the factors for overcoming stress, presented in this chapter, that this person is not practicing. Plan how you could use this material to help this person, or anyone else, to change their way of responding.