Anger & Stress Management God’s Way
THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES
Chapter 6
In the previous chapter on overcoming stress, I used the well-known phrase “To be forewarned is to be forearmed.” That’s a good statement, but perhaps we should alter it to say, “To be forewarned is part of the process of becoming forearmed.” Warnings, if they’re accurate, are helpful—but they’re not enough. They’re necessary, but they don’t automatically arm us. What they can do is provide the motivation for us to want to be armed for battle. Hopefully that’s what the previous chapter, along with the material found in this chapter, will do for you and me. In the previous chapter, I also stated that it’s helpful to identify the different sources of the stressors we face; answering the question
“Where do they come from?” can help us to be forewarned. it’s beneficial to identify the common wrong responses to stressors in general—but, in particular, it’s even more useful to identify the kinds of ungodly responses to which we personally are more prone. In chapters 7 and 8 of this book, I will describe a more specific plan of operation for winning the war against the stressors that would destroy us; but, before I do that, I want to continue the forewarning process by describing for you a few of the serious consequences that are produced by our ungodly responses to stressors. I do this because this is one of the methods that God uses in His Word to keep us from making bad choices and to motivate us to think before we act.
By including in His Word both many statements about the consequences of certain actions and many examples of people who made bad choices and suffered serious, unpleasant consequences, God is trying to do two things. First, He is trying to prevent us from making the same mistakes over and over again. Second, He is trying to motivate us to make wise choices. My hope is that a discussion of the serious consequences of our wrong responses to stress will accomplish these same two things for us. Here, then, are a few of the serious consequences of the wrong responses to stress.
CONSEQUENCE #1: POOR RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE
You show me a person who is characterized by displaying the fruit of the Spirit as he faces the stressors of life, and I will show you a person who is well respected by people, has a good marriage and a good family, and has many good friends. On the other hand, you show me a person who responds to stress by doing the opposite of what Ephesians 4:31 tells us, and I’ll show you a person who has problems in his relationships with people. For almost sixty years, I’ve been involved in counseling people with problems. During that time, many people have told me that they have no friends. One fifty-five-year-old man told me that he has never had a close friend in his entire life.
Being in a position where I could observe the way he relates to his wife and children and to other people in the church, I have seen him acting and reacting in many of the ways described in the last chapter. Around people he tightens up, withdraws, pulls into himself, runs away rather than reaches out to people, and waits for them to come to him rather than going to them. Gloom and doom are written all over his face. He expects the worst and usually, because of his attitude, gets it. The consequences: he has only superficial relationships with people, he misses out on the benefits that God has planned to bring into our lives through deep relationships with people, he fails to fulfill the ministries that God wants him to have through deep relationships with people, and he experiences the pain of loneliness.
CONSEQUENCE #2: STULTIFICATION OF SPIRITUAL GROWTH
What happens when you go to church, after you’ve had a big conflict with your mate or children, and then try to get something out of the Sunday school lesson or sermon? You don’t really benefit from that act of worship, do you? At least I find it difficult to do so, and I know of others who have had the same experience. Or what happens when you try to read or study your Bible or pray after you’ve blown it by being selfish and nasty? Well, if your conscience is functioning properly, and if you have not repented, confessed, and sought forgiveness, your spiritual appetite, sensitivity, and receptiveness will be affected. Stultification of our spiritual growth is the inevitable result. In light of what God has said in many passages of Scripture, it can’t be otherwise. Mark 4 asserts that the cares and anxieties of this world choke the Word and make it unfruitful (see v. 19).
First Peter 3:7 states that if a man is not living with his wife in an understanding, caring, and respectful way, his devotional life will be hindered. In similar fashion, James 1:20–25 indicates that if we don’t deal with the sin patterns in our lives, we will not receive the blessing that God intends for us to have through His Word. If we don’t deal with our sin, God won’t hear us; and—guess what?—we won’t hear from God through His Word either. “He that confesses and forsakes his sin shall have mercy” is God’s Word to us (see Prov. 28:13). Does this make wrong responses to the stressors of life a serious matter? You’d better believe it does! Could it be that many of us are standing still or, worse yet, going backward in our spiritual lives because we are being overcome by, rather than overcoming, stress? We may excuse our sinful responses and take them lightly, but God doesn’t.
CONSEQUENCE #3: LACK OF SPIRITUAL USEFULNESS
Right along with the fact that our ungodly responses hinder our spiritual growth is the fact that they hinder our spiritual usefulness. A clear passage on this matter is 2 Timothy 2:21, which tells us that if a man cleanses himself, “he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.” This verse teaches that if a person doesn’t cleanse herself from what God calls wickedness and ungodliness (cf. vv. 16–19), she will not be a vessel that honors God and is honored by God in her ministry for Christ. If such a person doesn’t cleanse himself, he won’t be useful to the Master or prepared for every good work. In Luke 8:14, our Lord Jesus Christ said essentially the same thing: a person who responds in an ungodly way to the pressures and temptations of life will bring no fruit to maturity. People who typically and frequently respond to the stressors of life in any of the ungodly ways described in the previous chapter are like the fig tree described in Matthew 21.
This tree had leaves but bore no fruit (see vv. 19–21). They’re like the farmer who sows a lot of seeds but never seems to get any of it to germinate. They are, in the words of Jude 12, “clouds without water . . . autumn trees without fruit.” What I’m referring to are people who may be very active in some form of Christian service, and yet whose service doesn’t seem to be bearing much fruit—people who may be busy in Christian ministries but are accomplishing little by way of evangelism of unbelievers or edification of believers. I’m speaking of people who can’t be said to be really building up the body of Christ (see Eph. 4:12–16). Oh, these people may have great gifts; they may have a lot of knowledge; they may be very biblically correct in their theology; but, in a very real sense, they aren’t making an impact for Christ in helping others become like Him.
Sometimes this is because they haven’t cleansed themselves from their ungodly responses to the stressors of life. Paul’s words in 1 Timothy 4:12 are very appropriate at this point. In effect, he says, “Timothy, if you want people to respect you and your message, you’d better be a model of that message in your love (for Christ and people), your purity (in heart, mind, and conduct), your faith (your trust and confidence in Christ and His Word), your faithfulness (your trustworthiness, reliability, and dependability), and your speech (your content, manner, and purpose).” In other words, if you want to have a fruitful ministry, you’d better be a model of how the power of the gospel makes you different on the inside and outside, in your actions and reactions.
If you don’t handle stress differently than unbelievers do, don’t expect to make an impact for Christ. Habitually responding improperly to the stressors of life will also affect a person’s Christian service activities in another way—sometimes it will weaken or even destroy a person’s desire for and confidence in even attempting to serve. This is illustrated by a conversation I had with a professing Christian man. This man (we’ll call him “Jim”) told me that he didn’t witness for Christ at work because he knew that his life wasn’t what it ought to be. (Actually, he did witness. Unfortunately, as you will see from my report, the witness he was giving through his life was against Christ, rather than for Christ.) He said, “I don’t witness for Christ at work because I’m ashamed to do so.
I know that the people with whom I work see my selfishness, my greed, my anxiety, and my angry responses. They hear my griping and complaining. Consequently, I don’t think they would be interested in what I say because they don’t see me as a good example of what a Christian should be.” I don’t know whether that was the main reason Jim didn’t witness, but I do know that what he said was true and that his awareness of his own sin stultified his desire to witness for Christ. I also know that what was true of Jim is true of many other people as well. Because of their habitual, ungodly responses to the stressors of life, they’re not prepared for every good work; and, besides that, their ungodly actions and reactions have caused their desire to be used by the Master to be snuffed out.
CONSEQUENCE #4: HINDERED OCCUPATIONAL AND EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS
Many competent people have lost job after job because they have frequently responded to stress in some of the ungodly ways described in the last chapter. Or, if they haven’t been dismissed from their jobs, they at least have not advanced in them, because they’re so uptight, nervous, easily flustered, annoyed, fearful, or anxious. They just can’t handle the pressure, they have extreme reactions to criticism, and consequently they’re overlooked when it comes to the matter of advancement. Over the course of my fifty or more years of counseling people, I have met many who have a good education and skills that you would think would make them very successful in their occupations. Yet they go from job to job, never lasting long in any place of employment.
Sometimes they just up and quit, and sometimes they’re “let go” (i.e., fired). I can think of many missionaries and pastors who have been like the proverbial “rolling stone,” staying in any one place of ministry for only a brief period of time. Often, if not usually, the reason is that they aren’t handling the stressors they inevitably experience in a godly way. In the educational realm, I know of students who have good minds and yet have done very poorly in their schoolwork.
Admittedly, with some, it was because they never disciplined themselves to do any hard studying. Others, though, spent hours on their homework and yet only squeaked by on their tests. Why? Outside of class, when talking to others in private, they demonstrated that they knew the material—but when test time came, it was a different matter. They froze; their minds went blank; they experienced test anxiety and drew a mental block.
CONSEQUENCE #5: PHYSICAL PROBLEMS
Scripture and modern science both agree on the serious consequences that the wrong responses to stress can have on the human body. In Scripture, we read, Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down. (Prov. 12:25) Passion [unrest in the inner man—viz. anger, depression, discouragement, worry, fear, annoyance, impatience] is rottenness to the bones [i.e., is bad for your health; weakens you]. (Prov. 14:30) A broken spirit dries up the bones [bones that are dried up are easily broken; they’re brittle, fragile, and therefore very unstable and untrustworthy]. (Prov. 17:22) As might be expected, modern medical studies illustrate the validity of these biblical statements. In his book, None of These Diseases, Dr. S. I. McMillen lists more than sixty diseases that are either caused by or aggravated by wrong responses to stress. In one chapter he states the fact that it’s not what you eat, but what’s eating you, that matters.
1) Several years ago, the head of the gastrointestinal surgery department at a major hospital in Philadelphia attended one of my biblical counseling training courses. One evening after class, he told me how much he agreed with what I had been teaching about understanding and solving the problems of people biblically. In the course of our conversation, he said he believed that at least 65 percent of the people he operated on wouldn’t need the operations he performed if they would only learn how to handle their stressors in a biblical way. Another Christian physician friend informed me that he was convinced that many of the physical problems people have are somehow connected to the ways they live their lives and respond to the stresses they encounter. In fact, he was so convinced of this that a few years ago he was tempted to leave the medical field and join the staff of a church to do biblical counseling full time.
He stated that he considered making this move because he thought he could do more good for people, physically and spiritually, by helping them to prevent and solve their problems through practical, biblical teaching and counsel. What happens when people don’t handle the stressors of life in a godly way? In his book, The Christian Counselor’s Medical Desk Reference, physician Robert Smith writes, Responses to various circumstances in life may themselves produce symptoms of sickness. God created various internal controls to maintain balance in the body. One of the controls is the hormone system.
This system functions on the basis of supply and demand. If there is too little hormone in the body, the gland responsible for it produces more. If there is too much hormone, the gland decreases the amount produced. All this happens automatically. Another control system is the nervous system (NS), which is made up of the brain, spinal cord, and nerves. Reflexes provide many NS controls. A certain stimulus produces specific results. When you accidentally touch something hot, automatic reflexes make the muscles pull the hand away from the hot object. These controls are essential to balance within the body.
A very significant fact is that these controls may be influenced by circumstances in life. Those responses may produce physical symptoms. A person’s evaluation of, and responses to, various circumstances in life will produce symptoms in the body. Pastors may remember their ordination council as an awesome and fearful time. There is a desire to do a good job, along with considerable apprehension about the kind of questions that may be asked.
This response to the anticipation of the council may produce symptoms in the body. His mouth may become dry as he prepares to answer a question. His heart and breathing rate may speed up to deliver more fuel to the cells of the body and remove more waste products. There may be a fine tremor of the muscles. The effect on the intestinal tract may be varied. The stomach may be undecided about whether it’s going to empty up or down. . . . The lower bowel may even become very irritable and spastic. The result may be cramping or diarrhea. All these symptoms are the result of one’s response to the pressure of the ordination examination. The intestinal tract is a tube with muscles in two directions: around the circumference of the tube and down the length of the tube. . . . These muscles can cramp like a “charley horse,” which in turn produces pain.
This is one of the ways in which an ulcer in the first part of the small intestine (the duodenum) produces pain. Extra acid produced in the stomach as a result of a person’s response to problems will also irritate the exposed ulcerated tissue. (The same cramping happens in irritable bowel disease without the increased acid production.) Unbiblical responses to life and difficult situations can produce the same cramping as that of an ulcer. . . . The counselor should be aware that such physical symptoms may be caused by the person’s response to life and problems. The person’s response to problems has produced symptoms and may produce disease. . . . In sixty to eighty percent of patients, responses to problems of life produced physical symptoms. . . .
These symptoms are not imaginary. They’re physical. They’re real, but they’re not triggered by something wrong in the body. The real problem then is not your counselee’s problems, but his response to those problems. A person often cannot change pressures or tough circumstances, but he can change his responses to them.
2) To summarize, I will adapt and modify Dr. Smith’s diagram3 that illustrates the manner in which the physical part of us is affected by our responses to the stressors in our lives. We encounter life experiences, such as • Problems we experience • Pressures we face • Difficulties we encounter • Trials that come our way Our evaluation of these experiences and reaction to them produces effects on the body in the • Mouth—e.g., dry mouth • Heart—e.g., increased heart rate • Lungs—e.g., deep breathing or even hyperventilating, breathing difficulties • Muscles—e.g., tenseness, tightness, cramps • Intestinal tract—e.g., cramps, diarrhea, constipation, colitis I trust that it’s easy to see why I say that responding wrongly to the stressors of life is a serious matter. Hopefully, by this time, all of us are saying, “What must we do to keep from responding in the wrong way to stressors and from experiencing the destructive consequences that come when we do?” If that’s what you’re saying, I’m glad, because that’s what we’re going to discuss in the next two chapters.
— APPLICATION QUESTIONS —
List the destructive consequences of ungodly responses to stress mentioned in this chapter. What impacts or effects do these wrong responses have on us? In what ways do they really hinder us? Besides the consequences described in this chapter, can you think of any other consequences of wrong responses to stress? Can you give any illustrations of someone (whether yourself or someone else) experiencing any of the consequences discussed in this chapter? How could you use the material in this chapter in your own life, in your family’s lives, or with other people? In your judgment, what were the most important concepts or insights presented in this chapter?
“Where do they come from?” can help us to be forewarned. it’s beneficial to identify the common wrong responses to stressors in general—but, in particular, it’s even more useful to identify the kinds of ungodly responses to which we personally are more prone. In chapters 7 and 8 of this book, I will describe a more specific plan of operation for winning the war against the stressors that would destroy us; but, before I do that, I want to continue the forewarning process by describing for you a few of the serious consequences that are produced by our ungodly responses to stressors. I do this because this is one of the methods that God uses in His Word to keep us from making bad choices and to motivate us to think before we act.
By including in His Word both many statements about the consequences of certain actions and many examples of people who made bad choices and suffered serious, unpleasant consequences, God is trying to do two things. First, He is trying to prevent us from making the same mistakes over and over again. Second, He is trying to motivate us to make wise choices. My hope is that a discussion of the serious consequences of our wrong responses to stress will accomplish these same two things for us. Here, then, are a few of the serious consequences of the wrong responses to stress.
CONSEQUENCE #1: POOR RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE
You show me a person who is characterized by displaying the fruit of the Spirit as he faces the stressors of life, and I will show you a person who is well respected by people, has a good marriage and a good family, and has many good friends. On the other hand, you show me a person who responds to stress by doing the opposite of what Ephesians 4:31 tells us, and I’ll show you a person who has problems in his relationships with people. For almost sixty years, I’ve been involved in counseling people with problems. During that time, many people have told me that they have no friends. One fifty-five-year-old man told me that he has never had a close friend in his entire life.
Being in a position where I could observe the way he relates to his wife and children and to other people in the church, I have seen him acting and reacting in many of the ways described in the last chapter. Around people he tightens up, withdraws, pulls into himself, runs away rather than reaches out to people, and waits for them to come to him rather than going to them. Gloom and doom are written all over his face. He expects the worst and usually, because of his attitude, gets it. The consequences: he has only superficial relationships with people, he misses out on the benefits that God has planned to bring into our lives through deep relationships with people, he fails to fulfill the ministries that God wants him to have through deep relationships with people, and he experiences the pain of loneliness.
CONSEQUENCE #2: STULTIFICATION OF SPIRITUAL GROWTH
What happens when you go to church, after you’ve had a big conflict with your mate or children, and then try to get something out of the Sunday school lesson or sermon? You don’t really benefit from that act of worship, do you? At least I find it difficult to do so, and I know of others who have had the same experience. Or what happens when you try to read or study your Bible or pray after you’ve blown it by being selfish and nasty? Well, if your conscience is functioning properly, and if you have not repented, confessed, and sought forgiveness, your spiritual appetite, sensitivity, and receptiveness will be affected. Stultification of our spiritual growth is the inevitable result. In light of what God has said in many passages of Scripture, it can’t be otherwise. Mark 4 asserts that the cares and anxieties of this world choke the Word and make it unfruitful (see v. 19).
First Peter 3:7 states that if a man is not living with his wife in an understanding, caring, and respectful way, his devotional life will be hindered. In similar fashion, James 1:20–25 indicates that if we don’t deal with the sin patterns in our lives, we will not receive the blessing that God intends for us to have through His Word. If we don’t deal with our sin, God won’t hear us; and—guess what?—we won’t hear from God through His Word either. “He that confesses and forsakes his sin shall have mercy” is God’s Word to us (see Prov. 28:13). Does this make wrong responses to the stressors of life a serious matter? You’d better believe it does! Could it be that many of us are standing still or, worse yet, going backward in our spiritual lives because we are being overcome by, rather than overcoming, stress? We may excuse our sinful responses and take them lightly, but God doesn’t.
CONSEQUENCE #3: LACK OF SPIRITUAL USEFULNESS
Right along with the fact that our ungodly responses hinder our spiritual growth is the fact that they hinder our spiritual usefulness. A clear passage on this matter is 2 Timothy 2:21, which tells us that if a man cleanses himself, “he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work.” This verse teaches that if a person doesn’t cleanse herself from what God calls wickedness and ungodliness (cf. vv. 16–19), she will not be a vessel that honors God and is honored by God in her ministry for Christ. If such a person doesn’t cleanse himself, he won’t be useful to the Master or prepared for every good work. In Luke 8:14, our Lord Jesus Christ said essentially the same thing: a person who responds in an ungodly way to the pressures and temptations of life will bring no fruit to maturity. People who typically and frequently respond to the stressors of life in any of the ungodly ways described in the previous chapter are like the fig tree described in Matthew 21.
This tree had leaves but bore no fruit (see vv. 19–21). They’re like the farmer who sows a lot of seeds but never seems to get any of it to germinate. They are, in the words of Jude 12, “clouds without water . . . autumn trees without fruit.” What I’m referring to are people who may be very active in some form of Christian service, and yet whose service doesn’t seem to be bearing much fruit—people who may be busy in Christian ministries but are accomplishing little by way of evangelism of unbelievers or edification of believers. I’m speaking of people who can’t be said to be really building up the body of Christ (see Eph. 4:12–16). Oh, these people may have great gifts; they may have a lot of knowledge; they may be very biblically correct in their theology; but, in a very real sense, they aren’t making an impact for Christ in helping others become like Him.
Sometimes this is because they haven’t cleansed themselves from their ungodly responses to the stressors of life. Paul’s words in 1 Timothy 4:12 are very appropriate at this point. In effect, he says, “Timothy, if you want people to respect you and your message, you’d better be a model of that message in your love (for Christ and people), your purity (in heart, mind, and conduct), your faith (your trust and confidence in Christ and His Word), your faithfulness (your trustworthiness, reliability, and dependability), and your speech (your content, manner, and purpose).” In other words, if you want to have a fruitful ministry, you’d better be a model of how the power of the gospel makes you different on the inside and outside, in your actions and reactions.
If you don’t handle stress differently than unbelievers do, don’t expect to make an impact for Christ. Habitually responding improperly to the stressors of life will also affect a person’s Christian service activities in another way—sometimes it will weaken or even destroy a person’s desire for and confidence in even attempting to serve. This is illustrated by a conversation I had with a professing Christian man. This man (we’ll call him “Jim”) told me that he didn’t witness for Christ at work because he knew that his life wasn’t what it ought to be. (Actually, he did witness. Unfortunately, as you will see from my report, the witness he was giving through his life was against Christ, rather than for Christ.) He said, “I don’t witness for Christ at work because I’m ashamed to do so.
I know that the people with whom I work see my selfishness, my greed, my anxiety, and my angry responses. They hear my griping and complaining. Consequently, I don’t think they would be interested in what I say because they don’t see me as a good example of what a Christian should be.” I don’t know whether that was the main reason Jim didn’t witness, but I do know that what he said was true and that his awareness of his own sin stultified his desire to witness for Christ. I also know that what was true of Jim is true of many other people as well. Because of their habitual, ungodly responses to the stressors of life, they’re not prepared for every good work; and, besides that, their ungodly actions and reactions have caused their desire to be used by the Master to be snuffed out.
CONSEQUENCE #4: HINDERED OCCUPATIONAL AND EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS
Many competent people have lost job after job because they have frequently responded to stress in some of the ungodly ways described in the last chapter. Or, if they haven’t been dismissed from their jobs, they at least have not advanced in them, because they’re so uptight, nervous, easily flustered, annoyed, fearful, or anxious. They just can’t handle the pressure, they have extreme reactions to criticism, and consequently they’re overlooked when it comes to the matter of advancement. Over the course of my fifty or more years of counseling people, I have met many who have a good education and skills that you would think would make them very successful in their occupations. Yet they go from job to job, never lasting long in any place of employment.
Sometimes they just up and quit, and sometimes they’re “let go” (i.e., fired). I can think of many missionaries and pastors who have been like the proverbial “rolling stone,” staying in any one place of ministry for only a brief period of time. Often, if not usually, the reason is that they aren’t handling the stressors they inevitably experience in a godly way. In the educational realm, I know of students who have good minds and yet have done very poorly in their schoolwork.
Admittedly, with some, it was because they never disciplined themselves to do any hard studying. Others, though, spent hours on their homework and yet only squeaked by on their tests. Why? Outside of class, when talking to others in private, they demonstrated that they knew the material—but when test time came, it was a different matter. They froze; their minds went blank; they experienced test anxiety and drew a mental block.
CONSEQUENCE #5: PHYSICAL PROBLEMS
Scripture and modern science both agree on the serious consequences that the wrong responses to stress can have on the human body. In Scripture, we read, Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down. (Prov. 12:25) Passion [unrest in the inner man—viz. anger, depression, discouragement, worry, fear, annoyance, impatience] is rottenness to the bones [i.e., is bad for your health; weakens you]. (Prov. 14:30) A broken spirit dries up the bones [bones that are dried up are easily broken; they’re brittle, fragile, and therefore very unstable and untrustworthy]. (Prov. 17:22) As might be expected, modern medical studies illustrate the validity of these biblical statements. In his book, None of These Diseases, Dr. S. I. McMillen lists more than sixty diseases that are either caused by or aggravated by wrong responses to stress. In one chapter he states the fact that it’s not what you eat, but what’s eating you, that matters.
1) Several years ago, the head of the gastrointestinal surgery department at a major hospital in Philadelphia attended one of my biblical counseling training courses. One evening after class, he told me how much he agreed with what I had been teaching about understanding and solving the problems of people biblically. In the course of our conversation, he said he believed that at least 65 percent of the people he operated on wouldn’t need the operations he performed if they would only learn how to handle their stressors in a biblical way. Another Christian physician friend informed me that he was convinced that many of the physical problems people have are somehow connected to the ways they live their lives and respond to the stresses they encounter. In fact, he was so convinced of this that a few years ago he was tempted to leave the medical field and join the staff of a church to do biblical counseling full time.
He stated that he considered making this move because he thought he could do more good for people, physically and spiritually, by helping them to prevent and solve their problems through practical, biblical teaching and counsel. What happens when people don’t handle the stressors of life in a godly way? In his book, The Christian Counselor’s Medical Desk Reference, physician Robert Smith writes, Responses to various circumstances in life may themselves produce symptoms of sickness. God created various internal controls to maintain balance in the body. One of the controls is the hormone system.
This system functions on the basis of supply and demand. If there is too little hormone in the body, the gland responsible for it produces more. If there is too much hormone, the gland decreases the amount produced. All this happens automatically. Another control system is the nervous system (NS), which is made up of the brain, spinal cord, and nerves. Reflexes provide many NS controls. A certain stimulus produces specific results. When you accidentally touch something hot, automatic reflexes make the muscles pull the hand away from the hot object. These controls are essential to balance within the body.
A very significant fact is that these controls may be influenced by circumstances in life. Those responses may produce physical symptoms. A person’s evaluation of, and responses to, various circumstances in life will produce symptoms in the body. Pastors may remember their ordination council as an awesome and fearful time. There is a desire to do a good job, along with considerable apprehension about the kind of questions that may be asked.
This response to the anticipation of the council may produce symptoms in the body. His mouth may become dry as he prepares to answer a question. His heart and breathing rate may speed up to deliver more fuel to the cells of the body and remove more waste products. There may be a fine tremor of the muscles. The effect on the intestinal tract may be varied. The stomach may be undecided about whether it’s going to empty up or down. . . . The lower bowel may even become very irritable and spastic. The result may be cramping or diarrhea. All these symptoms are the result of one’s response to the pressure of the ordination examination. The intestinal tract is a tube with muscles in two directions: around the circumference of the tube and down the length of the tube. . . . These muscles can cramp like a “charley horse,” which in turn produces pain.
This is one of the ways in which an ulcer in the first part of the small intestine (the duodenum) produces pain. Extra acid produced in the stomach as a result of a person’s response to problems will also irritate the exposed ulcerated tissue. (The same cramping happens in irritable bowel disease without the increased acid production.) Unbiblical responses to life and difficult situations can produce the same cramping as that of an ulcer. . . . The counselor should be aware that such physical symptoms may be caused by the person’s response to life and problems. The person’s response to problems has produced symptoms and may produce disease. . . . In sixty to eighty percent of patients, responses to problems of life produced physical symptoms. . . .
These symptoms are not imaginary. They’re physical. They’re real, but they’re not triggered by something wrong in the body. The real problem then is not your counselee’s problems, but his response to those problems. A person often cannot change pressures or tough circumstances, but he can change his responses to them.
2) To summarize, I will adapt and modify Dr. Smith’s diagram3 that illustrates the manner in which the physical part of us is affected by our responses to the stressors in our lives. We encounter life experiences, such as • Problems we experience • Pressures we face • Difficulties we encounter • Trials that come our way Our evaluation of these experiences and reaction to them produces effects on the body in the • Mouth—e.g., dry mouth • Heart—e.g., increased heart rate • Lungs—e.g., deep breathing or even hyperventilating, breathing difficulties • Muscles—e.g., tenseness, tightness, cramps • Intestinal tract—e.g., cramps, diarrhea, constipation, colitis I trust that it’s easy to see why I say that responding wrongly to the stressors of life is a serious matter. Hopefully, by this time, all of us are saying, “What must we do to keep from responding in the wrong way to stressors and from experiencing the destructive consequences that come when we do?” If that’s what you’re saying, I’m glad, because that’s what we’re going to discuss in the next two chapters.
— APPLICATION QUESTIONS —
List the destructive consequences of ungodly responses to stress mentioned in this chapter. What impacts or effects do these wrong responses have on us? In what ways do they really hinder us? Besides the consequences described in this chapter, can you think of any other consequences of wrong responses to stress? Can you give any illustrations of someone (whether yourself or someone else) experiencing any of the consequences discussed in this chapter? How could you use the material in this chapter in your own life, in your family’s lives, or with other people? In your judgment, what were the most important concepts or insights presented in this chapter?